I am the director for a new program begun in our community to prevent child sexual abuse. That’s right, I used the word “prevent” because we must start believing child sexual abuse is preventable and take responsible actions to pre-empt a crime at crisis proportions.You see, one in every 10 children will be sexually abused. Yet a mere 16% of children will tell about their abuse during childhood.That means the 583 area children referred to Red River Children’s Advocacy center in 2019 represent a tiny fraction of the true number of sexually-abused children.Kids are resilient and not all will struggle. But many will. Among abused children, the risk is vastly multiplied throughout their lives for mental health adversities like stress, anxiety, depression, alcoholism, addiction, PTSD and suicide. Traumatized deeply and agonized by shame, they will do anything to numb their pain, even ending their own lives. Sexual abuse in childhood also heightens risk of diabetes, heart disease, obesity and many other diseases.
Stand to Protect began as an uprising of people dedicated to helping children in the aftermath of sexual abuse. Now they’ve united to prevent.In the past, we thought the most important thing was teaching children about stranger danger and inappropriate touch so they would run and tell an adult. This teaching remains critically important, yet it’s only half the battle. That’s because perpetrators will commonly befriend a child or parent, and then use the trust they’ve gained to be left with a child … so they can sexually abuse. This betrayal by a person thought to be a ‘friend,’ is confusing, terrifying and often far beyond a child’s ability to disclose. Sometimes when a child does tell, they aren’t believed because the abuser has been a master manipulator.That’s why adults must step up their awareness and take up their game as protectors. In a world where ignorance, disbelief and denial act to fuel child sexual abuse, Stand to Protect is the antidote.
Stand to Protect is a joint project of Dakota Medical Foundation, Red River Children’s Advocacy Center, Cass and Clay Social Service agencies, Sanford Center for Biobehavioral Research and Prevent Child Abuse ND.This group asked NDSU to compile published research studies that would shape the evidence for our curriculum. Its practicality comes from front-line experiences of authoring agencies. The program launched in mid-2019. We offer a concise, one-hour, eye-opening presentation that teaches facts and warning signs, then gives 10 practical steps we adults can take to make children’s lives safer from sexual abuse. It’s for every parent, grandparent and professional who works around children. It’s for every adult in our community.We also have useful resources for organizations to shape stronger safety policies and practices so sexual abuse of children is stopped in camps, churches, schools, athletic programs and other settings.All of this is entirely free, because DMF underwrites this program.Hundreds have been trained and thousands will be trained in 2020. Yet we need more agencies, organizations and businesses to open their doors to us to spread important prevention information.As with seatbelts, there are no 100% guarantees that an adult who takes this training will see what sexual abuser is working mightily to cover up.Yet we must improve the odds of protecting children in every way we can, and astoundingly-positive reviews from those who’ve trained in our program tell us they believe in our program. More than 99% who’ve already been trained say they’d recommend the training to others.I was called to lead this program after struggling across my lifetime to understand the anxiety and alcoholism of several loved ones around me, only to discover a single common thread: sexual abuse in childhood. My eyes opened to the human cost, I then came to understand the staggering social and economic costs of child sexual abuse.
In training this program or talking about it around Fargo-Moorhead, I often see tears well up. I know I’m reaching someone who
has been a victim or stood by someone in crisis. At every training, we share mental health resources. Others who speak to me after a training are fiercely empowered survivors willing to share amazing stories of hope and triumph. I respectfully ask you to join our movement and stand to protect our children. When we lift the silence and shame, more will gain the confidence to disclose and get life-changing evidence-informed trauma care. As all in our community grow in our roles as protectors of children, we can spare unspeakable harm to future generations.